"Sir Lancelot's Ode to Lady Guenevere..."

How I wished I was NUMB...
        But then I couldn't have felt thy reciprocation even for a whilst;

I wished, too, to be MUTE...
        But then again if I was, thou wouldn't have known of thine true feelings for thee;

Still, I wished I was BLIND...
        But then, too, I would've failed seeing thine love deep within thy mesmerizing eyes.

Aye, FATE was so cruel to have bested me faculties
But so sweet to make me realize

That if I didn't see...
            didn't feel...
            nor didn't speak...

I wouldn't have known that I am capable
            of knowing...
            of loving...
            of revering someone...

In just three mornings...

Yet suffer it FOREVER!

Notes On Gratitude

"When people got used to be comforted when they wallowed on their pains, they forget that the blanket that covers them gets worn out and get ripped into threads. But they never really noticed, 'til the thread snaps leaving the blanket into strain of threads...and then they have none."

I got those words from my BFF a couple of months back. That was when she was downtrodden after she felt that the people to whom she devoted a lot of time and energy with, and not to mention resources, seemed to have left her at the time she felt so weak, so helpless, and so alone.

She was their little big sister, their confidant, their defender, their crying shoulder. She stood by them when everyone else didn't and stayed with them til they grew their own wings and was able to fly. And so they did. And then there's none but her.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~ Albert Schweitzer
 
People get to be too complacent with their security blankets. They dwell too much on the thought that they have something, or someone, to turn to to alleviate their worries, failures, disappointments and pains, So much so that often times, they lose touch of their self-esteem and their capacity to see and do things alone...just by themselves. And once they got the best of themselves, once they learned the ropes of life, the blanket is left of no use...often left taken for granted or worse, discarded.

How many of us remember that teacher in our grade school who went out of her way and schedules just to make sure you understand your lessons? How about that old neighbor who never gets tired of listening to your stories, no matter how far-fetched they may be just so you'll be kept company because your parents aren't home yet? How about that classmate from whom you owe your homework, projects, and even answers on your exam? That P.A. or secretary or utility in your office, have you given them anything to appreciate their effort of being your "shock absorber" during stressful moments in your office?

Never forget to acknowledge even the littlest of efforts that people has done for you. It doesn't mean that we have to be indebted or be obliged to return that goodness. At least, the thought of us appreciating their efforts and at some point being there for them when they need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or even minutes of undivided attention would be a big thing...and just maybe, much more than you think it will be.

"Freedom"

How does a prisoner feels
Seeing a sparrow fly
From his god-forsaken cell?


Freedom is not with space.


It is beyond ball and chains...
It is beyond the cold bars...
it is beyond the four-walled cells.


Freedom is within you.


Freedom comes with choice...
       it is a mindset...
       it is a decision.


Let not your woes limit you...
Let not your pain incarcerate you...
It is your your choice not to be.


It is your choice to be FREE.

       






     

"Silence"

Do I need to speak...
      of how I feel
      of what I yearn (?)


Do I need to shout
      of what disturbs me
      of my happiness
      of my pains (?)


Eloquence speaks not
      with words...
      with poetry...
      nor with music...


Sometimes,
     
SILENCE shouts...


      What can't be said...
      What can't be felt...
      What can't be known.

"An Afterthought..."

Gray clouds loom over my mood
In the middle of a scorching afternoon...


Still in search 
        of PEACE...
        of HAPPINESS...
        of CONTENTMENT.


Time...
A cup of coffee...
A stick of cigarette...


Another moment will pass...
Without answers.


That's LIFE.


Let those pessimism go up
With the smoke you exhale...


This is just another day...
Of a LIFETIME.

               

"The Fight"

How does one bear the hurt,
How does one deal with pain...
Until when can he keep
What's driving him insane (?)


How can he gag his heart
And keep it from yearning
What it can't really have
And shouldn't be keeping (?)


How can he fake his smiles
With his heart on his sleeves...
Feigning a cheerful mood
While his grieving heart bleeds (?)


How can he keep his eyes
From hiding all his fears
If behind its sparkle
Keeps a bucket of tears (?)


How can he keep his hands
And body from trembling
When each time he held her
There's that fear of losing (?)

One can never discern
No matter how he try...
How deep true love can be
When it's time for "goodbye".


I guess I wouldn't know...
I guess I won't find out...
For I chose to fight off
This clearly losing bout.

"Mi Amor"

What's with her eyes...
       that seems to pierce my soul
       breaking through my defenses
       stripping me of my strength...


What's with her smile...
       that weakens my fortitude
       tearing my reasoning apart
       wearing off my logic and choice...


What's with her kisses...
        which seemingly alters my being
        bringing me in a state of unconsciousness
        of time, of reality, of emotions...


What's with her touch and caresses...
        that burns and scorches my inner sanctum
        creating a wildfire deep within
        a fire unquenchable, uncontrollable...


She inhibits me...
       She controls me...
              She overcomes what is in, out, and within me...


She is my time...
       She is my reason...
              She is my life.


How can I ever discern how she does it?


So long as I love her...
So long as I adore her...


I don't think I'll ever find the answer.


Never.

        

Take Me Away - Lifehouse (w/ lyrics)

"Lost Love" (Sonnet II)

The sunshine greeted "bonjour"
as the morning smiled at me...
not a trace of loneliness
in the brand new day I see.
But when the crimson shadow
cast its "farewell" in the dusk...
you'll see a different ME,

behind my deceiving "mask".

Darkness slowly setting in

solitude painting the way...

life without you by my side

is endless darkness at play.

Your voice is my salvation,

your thoughts, my warmth and refuge;

the LOVE that I have for you

is my strength and fortitude.

What is left for me to do

to put back the day's laughter...

remind my heart, "with each DUSK

soon comes the DAWN thereafter."

Across the distance, I know

there'll be that one place an' time
in bliss we'll be together
like a love song's every rhyme.

Beyond the realm of despair
of dreams and of space and time,
I'll be there and I will wait
FOREVER with love sublime!

"The Things I Hate" (Yomie's Chronicle part 1)

I HATE the way rains and roses still remind me of YOU, and the way Belgian chocolates will never taste as sweet...

I HATE the way my smile has changed: plastered, hesitant, forced...

I HATE that I find myself wanting to call you at 1 AM...

I HATE the way I'm supposed to pick up the pieces and move on...that I'm supposed to believe that everything's gonna be alright...

I HATE that I have to drink to forget...and the hangover that follows and remembering all over again...

But the thing I HATE the most is that no matter how I try, I can't bring myself to hate YOU the way I hate everything else!